i miss being happy
i miss loving myself..i hate life i hate ppl i hate evrythng around at tyms..i wish i cud vanish..when i ws small i wntd to b big soon,i thought ill be happy then.
bt here i am..24 yrs old..nt happy again..thr's smthng dt mks me go mad.i dnt do harm to anybdy around,i love ppl,animals,nature...evrythng bt i end up being ditched,disgusted,fooled around..
i mean i dnt understnd wht do i do wrong..
i m true to ppl,m an honest person bt..
i attract evry possible trouble around me...smtyms i think god just wnts to test me bt then whts the point???
whts the point in testing me so much..does it give him happiness..
i tend to get more n more n more sad..i drown in my own tears...in my own darkness..n i go deep inside..like a pigeon i tend to close my eyes if i see a big cat (a big trouble in my case)...
like a small fish goin wid the flow..no stregth to fight against things..no thoughts of my own..no sayng wht i want and getting afraid by even slightest of change in sea..
y m i so.. sumtyms i blame it on my genes...bt smtyms its mayb ME jst me.. i miss being happy...